For the Love of Paper

new blog

2008-03-06T08:21:00.001-05:00

I've decided to start fresh with a new blog, new look and hopefully a new sense of commitment to actually write in it....

Check it out here.

forgive me?

2007-07-19T22:12:00.000-04:00

Busy. It's the only excuse I've got. But who isn't, right? I sincerely doubt anyone is out there checking for my latest post, I'm sure you've given up. But, if you're out there, this is for you.

Hailey:
She walks, talks, giggles, chases dogs, loves cheese and is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is a wonderful baby, if I could guarantee a few more that would be just like her, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Her first birthday party is next Saturday. It is a Pixie Birthday Party, lots of fairies and pixie dust. We've gone a bit overboard, but hey, it's a celebration of her first year of life.

The biz:
Things are extremely busy. We're working with reps now, which is new, but it's going well and looking forward to growing and getting orders on a more consistent basis throughout the year. I've been printing like crazy and have been wishing my studio had air conditioning. I'm in the process of redesigning my web site and can't for a new look.

I'll do my best at updating more regularly. I understand if you don't believe me. I've got to do a post on the celebs that are driving me crazy. Two words: Britney and Crazy. No, not the song. She's lost it.

blue eyes

2007-01-31T18:54:00.000-05:00

Hailey had her six month photos today and I had to share my favorite.

it's been a while

2006-12-28T10:38:00.000-05:00

A small part of me is glad to see Christmas behind us. It was a whirlwind of buying, visiting, baking and preparing. I feel a calm now that we're back home. Hailey's first Christmas was wonderful. She loved tissue paper the best. She loved looking at Christmas lights and wrapping paper. She was able to see lots of family and really had a great time being back "home" in Cincinnati.

She is five months old today. It's going by so quickly but I love watching her grow and learn new things. She rolls over one way, almost sits up by herself and smiles at everything her father says. I haven't downloaded photos yet, but I will post one soon.

My New Year's resolution took about two seconds to decide: ORGANIZATION. I don't think I've been 100% organized since I got married. Adding someone into my mix really changed things and of course having a baby has changed it even more. My new moto is going to be "have a place for everything". We moved almost a year ago and there still isn't a designated space for all the junk we own. Getting rid of junk will be another priority. This Christmas we realized, we don't need anything. We couldn't think of what to get eachother because we had all we needed. But, the things we feel the need to keep are going to be labeled, stacked, contained and hopefully start to look like the Container Store catalog.

The business is going well. I printed a lot of Christmas cards and have been working on the baby album to debut in May. I need to spend a lot more time designing in the next month to stay on schedule. I had a dream last night about NSS, which is a sign that I'm beginning to subconciously worry about it. I dreamt that the two booths that were next to me last year decided to join forces and they hung things high in the air so no one could see the other booths. Maybe I'm worried my booth won't be noticed??? I've been thinking of adjustments already this morning.

Well, it's good to be back, I hope to keep this updated more regularly. Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!

things change in the fall

2006-11-04T22:26:00.000-05:00

Fall and Winter seem to always be a time of change. My grandfather passed away today. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few weeks ago. Although he has had it for a while. When we first begin to realize that he was ill with something serious, we took Hailey to see him. I'm thankful for that. He loved meeting her and we have wonderful pictures for her to remember him by. He was worried that she wouldn't remember him. Faith is a wonderful thing. He's at home with his wife now and is free of pain.

Since I hope to use this blog to remember life's moments, I'll leave my thoughts, for maybe someday Hailey will read and know what a great man he was.

Grandpa, I will always remember you with your hair sticking up in your tan pajamas on Christmas morning. You were the most positive and generous person, you raised my mother to be the same way. I aspire to be the same, you will be greatly missed. Say hi to Grandma, I can't wait to meet her.

hating life...or at least Halloween

2006-11-03T10:22:00.000-05:00

Hailey was a sweet pea this year. I'm guessing the last year I'll be able to do this to her. Doesn't she look thrilled? But she sure is cute. We handed out candy in the neighborhood and then went to see a friend in town who goes crazy with decorating her house. She is 14 weeks today and I can't believe how fast it's flying by.

As for paper, good things are happening. We're going to have our cards featured in two different publications. One this month and the next in the spring. I'm working on a baby album and am looking forward to debuting it in May.

pumpkin love

2006-10-05T12:10:00.000-04:00

Here's a recent photo of my little pumpkin. She obviously didn't enjoy her first experience, but she will learn to love them when she starts carving them at our Annual Family Pumpkin Carving Party. We've been doing it since I was little, it's a big deal. We carve pumpkins after hours of planning, mom bakes ginger cookies with orange icing and chocolate chips for the pumpkin faces and after we're done we take a photo with our pumpkins. The catch is that you have to make the face of your pumpkin for the photo. This was hard the year I cookie-cuttered stars all over a-la-Martha Stewart.

Yes, hopefully one day she'll enjoy the pumpkins. Don't you just love fall?

my favorite thing

2006-09-19T09:08:00.000-04:00

Thanks for the replies about your favorite part of the first few weeks of motherhood. To answer my own question, I've got to say, when she grabs my finger I feel like I'm the only thing she needs in the world. But also, as the others mentioned, when she curls up on my shoulder and trys to get as close to me as she possibly can, you can't beat that.

And this morning, I woke up to a new favorite thing. Hailey got up only once last night. I got six hours of sleep total. I feel like my brain might actually start to funciton normally again with that much sleep.

In paper news, I've had so many inquiries for custom printing. I'm hoping to use this as a way to pay my way to NSS next year. It's a good money maker for me and allows me to create my own work.

Hailey had her first photo shoot last week. I'll post photos soon.

tardiness

2006-09-14T22:15:00.000-04:00

I used to pride myself on being on time. I think it's polite and respectful. Boy has that gone out the window. No matter how much I plan feedings and changings, I'm late everywhere I go.

This is just one of the things that has changed over the last seven weeks. Here are a few more things that have become my reality:

Your body can survive on a lot less sleep than you imagine.

Although small, babies hold a lot of liquid and sometimes, they'd prefer to not keep it in their bellies.

Home Improvement and Cosby Show reruns are refreshing when infomercials consume every other channel at 4am.

People should really look into buying stock from all makers of laundry detergent, they're making bazillions.

E-mails can still be understood with one-handed typing, missing words and all lower case letters.

Saying life changes after a baby is an understatement. But it's the greatest change in the world.

Still on cloud 9, and wondering what your favorite parts of the first few weeks of motherhood were? What do you miss about the first few weeks of being a mom?

5:12 am

2006-08-22T05:17:00.000-04:00

I've been up since 1am. It's one of those nights. As I bounce her with the sounds of crashing waves, I'm wishing that rest could be bottled. Sleeping a few extra hours a day while I was pregnant to save up for times like these would be nice. This is the unrealistic things I think about at 5 in the morning.

Hailey is doing well. Everyday seems to bring something new and her patterns seem to only last a day or so until she picks up a new one. This past weekend it was eating constantly. For about three days, she just wouldn't stop eating. A growth spurt the pediatrician says.

As I opened the page to my blog, I'm realizing it's becoming less about paper and more about motherhood. Maybe a new sub-head is in order, I'll have to think of one when I'm more awake.

Paper is still on the brain. I'm thinking of where to go next. I'm deciding between an online letterpress invitation site, or work strictly on getting an album out, or an online retail site for various things, cards, invites, etc. At least I have plenty of time to think about it.

I think she's asleep...must go try to rest, at least for a few minutes.

where to start?

2006-08-11T11:52:00.000-04:00

Motherhood is everything and nothing that I expected it to be. I expected the sleepless nights, and that showering is now called "alone time", and that at the end of the day it's hard to figure out where all the time went. But, I didn't expect that I could love something instantly, care so little about things that used to make me worry so much, or how protective I feel during a strong thunderstorm with thunder that shakes the house. The whole thing is amazing. There really aren't words to describe how life changes when it stops being about you and your husband and becomes only about her and what she needs. I'm sure the mothers reading this know exactly what I mean. Being a mom is an amazing title to hold.

Speaking of mothers, mine has been here a majority of the last two weeks. (Hailey is two weeks old today) She has washed clothes, dishes, baby's bottoms and done everything around the house that I'm sure would have been forgotten if she hadn't been here. Being a mom brings on a new respect for my own mother. I've enjoyed hearing the stories that Hailey has brought out of my mom. It's great to see my mom just sit and stare at her for hours. My mom would insist I lay down for a nap, and two hours later when I woke up, she was in the exact same position, holding Hailey and just watching her every move.

Hailey is sleeping now, which means I need to take advantage of the opportunity for a nap as well. Thank you all for your well wishes, it made me smile to know that you all were thinking of me. I'll have more pictures to post soon. I try to not go longer than an hour or so without snapping a shot of her newest smirk or bright blue eyes.

total bliss

2006-08-02T16:44:00.001-04:00

hailey grace
july 28, 2006
7 lbs 3 oz
18.5 inches

D-Day

2006-07-27T10:36:00.000-04:00

Delivery Day has come. I am going to be induced tomorrow morning. Things just fell in to place and all signs pointed to yes, so, we're excited and nervous and I just hope I can get some sleep tonight. We have to be at the hospital at 6am tomorrow and I'm guessing I'll be laying in bed wide awake about 4am. So, send good thoughts and I will have the ultra secret name to reveal when I return home, if only we can agree on how to spell it.

a week to go

2006-07-24T08:55:00.000-04:00

I'm officially ready. I'm "sitting around just waiting for my water to break" ready. We don't have plans to go anywhere or do anything, all in anticipation for the baby arriving. Both sets of soon to be grandparents could hear the inpatience in our voice and decided to come for a meal this past weekend. Hubby's parents took us to dinner on Saturday and my parents for Sunday lunch. It was a wonderful distraction. My mom brought curtains and cushions she made for the nursery, what would I do without her. They're adorable.

We go to the dr. again tomorrow morning. I showed no progress at my appt. last week, so hopefully tomorrow, something has happened. My dr. also decided to mention that she is going out of town next Monday and will be gone all week. This would have been good to know months ago, so I could get to know a dr. that was going to actually be in town on my due date. I have had an appt. with the other dr. and think she would be fine, I just don't know her as well. And now I wonder, is my dr. going out of town a good reason to get induced a couple days before my due date? Then there's the size issue, is that a good enough reason? Of course I'd rather go into labor naturally, and that is what I'm hoping for, that these types of decisions won't have to be made. Personally, I'm not as concerned about the size as the dr. is. I've heard sooooo many people say an ultrasound expected a certain size, and the actual size was more than the 1lb give or take they tell you it could be.

I'm trying to work to keep my mind off things. I've organized the pantry, hung pictures, washed everything the baby could possibly touch and even doing a little PR for the biz today. Anything to keep my mind off this inevitable event that can come at any moment and change everything.

baby update (because there's isn't much else at this point)

2006-07-17T09:19:00.000-04:00

Everything is revolving around the baby now, my dreams, my thoughts, my body, everyone's converstaions...we've officially crossed over to baby mode. I went to the dr. on Friday, we had an ultrasound because I had been measuring under average, still am. We found out the baby is estimated to be about 8lbs now, give or take a pound. But, I know ultrasounds are anything but accurate when it comes to size, so I'm keeping that into consideration. My dr. offered to induce me if I wanted. I really didn't want these choices. I wanted it naturally to happen and none of this, "it's up to you" crap. We're holding off on entertaining the idea until our next appt. on Thursday to see if I'm dialted more. I'll be 38 weeks tomorrow, so we'll see. My body is definitely doing something, I can tell it's coming soon. The fear of a huge baby is now is the back of my head....uggg.

nursery

2006-07-11T08:39:00.000-04:00

As promised, here are a few pictures of the nursery. Still have a few things to hang, and we are going to paint and recover the glider (not shown), then we should be set. As someone else mentioned in the comments, you start to worry about little things. I realized the other day I didn't have any Desitin, so ran out and got some the next day. I like to be prepared. I'm feeling good, only three weeks to go. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

On other avenues, I'm trying to get some orders out or at least ready. Some of my orders were requesting August ship dates, so I'm trying to get them out of the way. I've had an inquiry about licensing, which I know nothing about. It's a known company, my mom was impressed at least. I'm trying to read the sample contract they sent, get in touch with a lawyer and do some research to make sense of it all. I'll keep you posted.

5 weeks to go

2006-06-29T11:49:00.000-04:00

Baby is scheduled to arrive in 5 weeks, give or take a few. The nursery is pretty much done, I'll post photos later. While I was away in Maine this past weekend, hubby painted to surprise me. It looks great, soothing and peaceful. I'm getting to the point where I'm trying to make sure I have everything I need. All the big things are taken care of, it's the little things that moms know they need when a baby arrives. Not being a mom yet, I can't feel 100% prepared, but maybe that's the fun of it.

The trip to Maine was just what I needed. I got rid of my need to get away and go somewhere. Now, I'm in my nesting mode again, cleaning, sitting, waiting, organizing. I sat on the beach with my feet in the sand and got addicted to Sodoku puzzles!

Paper is going well, I've updated my web site, filling orders from NSS and planning my social album. I designed my own birth announcement this week and plan to include it in the album because I think it turned out well. Now that I have my products in stores, I'm sort of at a stand still as to what to do next. Following up with people from NSS is a priority for this week and next. But now I'm pondering reps, reorders, albums, new products....lots of brainstorming. It seems I spent so much time learning about NSS and how to be prepared, which I definitely think I was. But, it's the other 51 weeks of the year that I need to learn about now.

Baby class #2 tonight, this morning, my husband said he felt like he was coming down with something...good effort. I told him it was a good thing the class was at the hospital, just in case he got worse.

feet in the ocean

2006-06-15T16:29:00.000-04:00

A week from now, that's where I will be. I saw my doctor today and she said I could go! I was so glad she didn't just say "as long as your comfortable having a baby there". I'm so excited. Maine is one of my favorite places, it will be great to just sit on the beach, eat great food and relax.

Thanks to all of your for the great advice. I appreciate your words of wisdom!

ants in my pants

2006-06-12T09:57:00.000-04:00

I'm so antsy. I'm 33 weeks tomorrow and I want to go somewhere. For a weekend, for a day, somewhere. My parents left for Maine yesterday. They will be there for two weeks. I have gone to Maine with my family every summer since I was a baby. I decided a month or so ago it would be too risky to go this year. My husband can't go, so having a baby in Maine without him, didn't seem smart. But, now the time is here and I feel fine. No signs of any early labor. I've looked at flights and now I want to go, at least for a long weekend. It's all I can think about.

So, what do you think? Would you fly at 34 weeks? Should I just be patient and stay home?

getting back to normal

2006-06-05T10:11:00.000-04:00

Life is finally settling down. With all the hype of getting ready for NSS, as soon as we returned we were off again to go home and see my husband's brother graduate. We then had a whirlwind week, finishing up with my friends from college visiting and my first shower on Saturday. After everyone left yesterday, I took a nice long nap!

Life is slowly getting back to normal. But just as it is, I realize, I'm only 8 weeks away from giving birth, which is now turning from excitement to a bit of nervousness. The shower was wonderful, my friends and family were so generous and I feel like if the baby came today, I'd be able to do it. Wipes, diapers, washclothes, stroller...now it's finding where to put it all.

As for NSS, I was happy with how it went. I felt prepared due to my wonderful friends at Paperpreneurs. There is no way I could have figured all that out without them. The booth turned out well, with only about 4-5 hours for set up. As for orders, I was happy. I went with no expectations. Now is figuring out how to keep the sales going all year long, and of course, continue working on my album. I will admit, I cried the first night from the pain my body was in. It was definitely a strain, and I began to feel like I was pushing the baby too much at times and she really just wanted me to sit down and not move. I eventually turned to khakis and tennis shoes, and my body appreciated it.

Hopefully, life will go back to a routine, at least for 8 weeks. I'm going to do my best to keep myself relaxed. If any of you saw Dateline last night about the epidural...geez, I've got to turn that stuff off when I realize it's going to FREAK ME OUT!

anxious

2006-05-16T10:56:00.000-04:00

With NSS days away, I can't get my body to relax. I'm just anxious about everything. I'm almost completely done with preparations, so I'm not stressed, just tense and ready to get there and be done with it.

To be honest, one of the biggest things that is keeping me up at night, are my dogs! I've never been away for them for a week, and honestly, I'm going to miss them terribly. They are my constant companions. They calm me, they are the best dogs in the world. I'm a dork, I know.

Maybe I'll set up one of those pet cams so I can watch them from the hotel room.....hmmm.

from fear to excitement

2006-05-03T11:28:00.000-04:00

NSS is...well, very soon. (I'm still not keen on counting days), but I'm definitley moving over to the realm of excitement rather than fear. The "to do" list is practically complete. I can't wait to leave. The main reason being that when we leave, that means all the work is done. Sleeping in a hotel is always relaxing. No worries about laundry, making the bed, cleaning up. It's always a vacation, at least in some ways.

Fear remains when it comes to the selling. There's this little voice in the back of my head that says, "what if you no one buys anything?". I'm not really letting myself answer that question. But that fear remains, and I'm sure it will until the close of the show. When it was your first time at NSS, did you feel the same, for those that have experienced it? What was your biggest fear?

And for those that gave advice on discipline and keeping yourself on track. It worked. I took your advice. And I realized that throughout life, you can base it on feelings. You can't not do the dishes just because you don't "feel" like it. I have to remind myself on those days where I let my feelings rather than my head make the decisions.

doing what you want, not what you need

2006-04-26T14:02:00.000-04:00

Why do I constantly do what I want, rather than what I need. In my head, I know there are things that MUST be done, but yet, I still do the opposite. It makes me angry with myself. At the end of the day, I question myself why I didn't do it. I can't figure out what the strong voice is that keeps telling my brain to not do what I need to do. Somehow I have to figure out how to overcome myself. I know...it doesn't make sense to me either.

How about some help from the blogging world. How do you sike yourself up to do the things you really don't feel like doing?

missing you

2006-04-21T08:41:00.000-04:00

Last weekend we were back home for Easter. We spent the day with our old neighbors and good friends. This is their son Carter, he's about six months now. Everytime I see him he seems so much bigger. I miss seeing him everyday. We then had dinner with my husband's family and lunch the next day with my fam. Absence sure does make the heart grow fonder. I miss my friend Jess so much. We have a girls day planned for next weekend while my husband golfs. I can't wait.

That is if I haven't had a nervous breakdown before then.

NSS is....soon. I don't care for calendars much anymore. I don't want to know how many days are left. I've made a lot of progress. We're down to, you know, only the most important things, like PRINTING PRODUCT! Seeing that my products are all printed letterpress, I can't just run one sample off of my printer, I have to put it on the press, order plates, mix ink and print a lot, because it's not worth it to print just one and see if it sells. So, I need to print every day for the next....few weeks. I don't want to know how many. It will all get done, it always does, right? I am looking forward to the trip though. My husband and parents are going. My husband has never been to NY, he's excited. And when I'm not standing up, seven months pregnant, I'm sure it will be fun. Restaurants, shopping, broadway shows and just being somewhere new. And once we get there, all the hard work will hopefully pay off. It's the biggest leap of faith I've ever taken. I can't wait.

26

2006-04-12T09:36:00.000-04:00

I'm 26 today. Birthdays seem to get less and less exciting as you get older. Or maybe just more simple. My husband asked me to pick out new bedding for him to give me as a gift. I love those kind of gifts. Then we're planning to go to a new restaurant (new to us) for dinner.

On the baby side of things, my back and hip on one side has been incredibly painful the past few days. I'm taking a prenatal swim class and that seems to help a bit, at least when I'm in the water. I've tried the pillow between the legs, heating pad. I sure hope this doesn't stay this bad for the rest of the time. New York could be a really fun experience....

Hubby is planning to paint the nursery on Friday, since he's off work. The nursery is really starting to look good. If the baby came tomorrow, we could last at least an hour or so.

Hope you're all having wonderful weather like we are today.

not feeling the love

2006-03-28T09:55:00.000-05:00

I never thought people were overly friendly or unusually nice in the city we moved from, just never thought much of it. But now that we've moved to a different city, I'm missing the kindness I'm used to. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure everyone in this city isn't rude or unfriendly. But I definitely notice a difference. From the cashier at Babies R Us to the deli guy at the grocery store, I'm just not feeling the love.

What really got me last week was when I called my OB with a question and asked to speak to a nurse. I called on a Friday about one-ish and all the nurses were out to lunch. I wasn't able to call back til about 4 later that day and instead of friendly helpfulness, I received a scolding on how I should have called earlier in the day, and why are you just calling about this now? I couldn't believe it. Is the office closed? If so, I'll call back on Monday, no problem. But it's 4 in the afternoon and to me, that's still business hours. She reluctantly helped me and sent me on my way. But after the call I was really upset with the lack of professionalism and just plain kindness.

There's no place like home.

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-23T11:02:00.000-05:00

(and to clarify my previous post, I left a very important word out... I am NOT going to have to change my name, now my cheerful post should make more sense)

compromise

2006-03-22T09:46:00.000-05:00

Well, the shoe has dropped. We finally heard back from the other side and looks like a compromise is in sight. I'm not thrilled with what it's going to take, but I'm NOT going to have to change my name, and that's what makes me smile. I woke up thinking of all the things I could continue on with that I had previously put on hold waiting to find out if I'd be keeping my name. Your name goes on everything! Cards being the most important, it's time to get printing!!!!

Not sure if this had been previously been mentioned, but my mom has decided to retire....again. She retired once before when she felt work really making her life miserable. After I got married I think she wanted something to keep her busy and her old job gave her an offer she couldn't refuse, with less stress and less management responsibilites. Unfortuantely, it's gotten back to where it was before, so she's ready to retire again. Of course a grandchild in August and a company she wants to help grow is having something to do with her decision. She is going to be a great help to me. She has taken my first press, a small tabletop and is going to set up for printing the logo on the back of cards. She's going to be the logo girl and plans to print all my stock, which is a huge help! It will be great to have her help. And I know in August she'll be more than willing to drive down to help out.

Baby is good, ultrasound tomorrow, I'll let you know. I'm sure the little one feels a lot less stress now that this name thing is working out. I slept great last night.

modesty

2006-03-16T12:54:00.000-05:00

So the child is being modest and wasn't willing to show the goods. So, we don't know what the sex of the baby is. Fortunately, he/she wasn't in a good position to examine the heart and face, so they thought that was a good reason to come back! I agreed, we go back in a week. I'll keep you posted. Everything else is good though, weight, head size, fingers, toes, legs, bladder, stomach....all there.

As for the legal trouble, just waiting to hear. But NSS is getting too close, it's time to decide and move on. I'll be patient til Monday.

feeling attacked

2006-03-14T08:30:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to give details, just to say that this name thing isn't going well. I'm a reasonable person, I respect other people and what they're trying to do. Compromise sounds like a great solution to me. But, it looks like that isn't going to be how this all plays out. The feeling of being attacked is not a nice one. Feeling approached with a problem and willing to work it out, I'd feel better about that. I hate this feeling.

comfortable

2006-03-13T10:40:00.000-05:00

My office is slowly getting darker as strong storms are expected to move in. Of course today is the day I drive to the office in Cincy. Possible tornadoes on my drive home, always exciting. My drive here today was great. When I got in the car and the thermostat said 68 already, I knew it was going to be a nice day, at least temperature-wise.

I was reluctant to even get out of bed today. Being 5 months pregnant, I've learned sleeping and being comfortable are not friends. But, as I waited for the alarm to buzz, I was very comfortable. I didn't want it to end. I was in the perfect spot. Of course I had tried that spot ten times before, but right then, it felt good.

I always thought when I got pregnant the nursery would be done and everything in place by about week 10. I like to be prepared. Although I still have plenty of time, things aren't close to ready. The crib we ordered...missing a leg, wait 3 weeks for replacement. Changing table, missing piece as well. Will never order from this company again. But, we have plenty of duck outfits hanging in the closet. I can't wait for the ultrasound on Thursday to find out what this little person is. Hopefully he/she is in good position to find out.

An update on work....I'm printing like crazy! I sure hope I'm going to have time to print my own pieces for NSS. Everyone else sure is keeping me busy.

rough day

2006-03-07T13:11:00.000-05:00

On Sunday, my husband was leaving for out of town for five days. I began to realize I was going to be in this house and in this town all alone. I felt a little uneasy. Of course I'm usually fine when he leaves. I get a lot of cleaning and catching up done. But this time, I was dreading his departure. So, I decided to head up to my parents for a day just to lessen the amount of lonely nights in the house. I just needed to feel "at home". Our new house is just that, a house. It's not a home. I don't walk into after a long day and say "awww, I'm home". I'm just not there yet.

So, I arrived hom from my parent's house this morning. Checked e-mail and the bad day began. A company with a similar name is trying to go after me for trademark infringement and is going to pursue legal action. I didn't even know they existed when I decided on my name. I searched everything I could think of to make sure my exact name didn't exist, which it doesn't. But somehow this guy thinks our similar names are "confusing the public". For me, I find it hard to be confused about letterpressesd greeting cards that are sold wholesale with fine art prints that are sold through galleries and shows, but hey, who am I to judge, right? Looks like someone else is going to be doing that.

In addition, a job I printed last week, which required two plates is going to be the death of me. I have now ordered five plates for a job that requires two, due to numerous mistakes. And of course, they're the expensive kind. Today, I receive an e-mail saying the job needs to be reprinted.

I know I sound crabby, it's because I am. But really, when it rains, does it always have to pour? Can't it just sprinkle for a week or so?

baby, week 18

2006-03-02T11:05:00.000-05:00

I had another dr. appt. yesterday. All is well with baby. We scheduled an ultrasound for two weeks and we're going to find out what the sex of the baby is. Yep, that's right, hubby has finally decided he wants to know. It took a few trips to Babies R Us for him to realize how little non-gender clothing there is. We've received 5 outfits as gifts so far. One Christmas outfit, and four yellow duck outfits. All different, but all yellow and all ducks. I'm so happy we'll be able to decorate the nursery one way or the other. I'm excited to find out. I'm really not leaning one way or another. I'll be happy with boy or girl. I'll keep you posted.

In other good news, my booth got changed for NSS. I was in the way back, behind another section, I was doubting people would even think we were part of the right section. But, our new booth is fantastic! It's way up front, corner and on a main aisle. I'm much happier, and so glad I hadn't sent my promos out yet.

Hubby is very excited for NSS, he's never been to NY. It will be interesting to see if he likes it. Even though NSS is going to be a TON of work and I'm going to be exhausted from standing, seven months pregnant, for four days straight, I'm really excited to just get away. It's always a plus to stay in a hotel and eat out. No laundry, no cooking, no cleaning, and my bed is made for me everyday. It's the little things.

in the groove

2006-02-23T10:56:00.000-05:00

I've gotten back into a bit of a routine after the move. Of course there are still a few things to be worked out now that I work from home. Like getting myself out of my pajamas before 11am. And remembering to eat ( the baby would appreciate this one). And getting the office organized and free of boxes. I'm making progress.

Right after I get out of bed seems to be my most motivating time of day. So, I don't want to stop to shower when I'm on a roll. It's probably because I lay in bed each night thinking of all the things I need to, so when I wake up it's the first thing on my mind. I'm making progress in my preparations for NSS. Flights have been made, hotel reservations, broadway show tickets purchased. You know, the important stuff....ok, maybe not. I've been swamped with printing projects for other people. Which is good on the checkbook and paying for NSS, but not good on time. I have an invitation project that has to go through the press 11 times.

My husband keeps telling me "it will all get done on time". I sure hope he's right. At least the pajamas seem to keep me moving along.

these 4 things...

2006-02-10T08:44:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by Daydreams & Ponderings , these are fun questions:

Four jobs I've had in my life:
1. waitress
2. served ice cream at ice cream shop (best job ever)
3. graphic designer
4. babysitter

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Love Actually
2. Steel Magnolias
3. Notting Hill
4. The Notebook

Four places I have lived:
1. Cincinnati, OH
2. Lexington, KY
3. Minneapolis, MN
4. Louisville, KY

Four TV Shows I like to watch:
1. Gilmore Girls
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. House
4. 24

Four Places I have been on Vacation:
1. Disney World, FL
2. London
3. San Diego, CA
4. Kennebunkport, ME

Four Websites I visit daily:
1. Paperpreneurs
2. CNN.com
3. People.com (terrible I know)
4. lots of paper blogs

Four of my favorite foods:
1. mashed potatoes
2. mac n cheese
3. pizza
4. anything italian

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. sitting on a beach
2. traveling somewhere warm
3. a movie
4. the Olympics

Bloggers I am tagging:
1. magnificent bliss
2. ruby red

settled down...

2006-02-06T10:13:00.000-05:00

I feel somewhat settled in the new house. It's not "home" yet of course, but we're on our way. It's definitely been hard being away from friends and family. Our good friends/old neighbors visited on Saturday and I just lit up when I saw them pull in the driveway. There are still a few boxes to be unpacked and furniture to purchase, but sooner or later it will be all organized.

I realized I'm almost half way to my due date. That scared me a bit. I'm not worried the delivery (at least not yet), I'm just excited for the little person to show up. It's mainly getting the nursery done and planning for after the baby. I'm just not sure how work is going to pan out, we'll see. I'm hoping cards become a bigger portion of my life than they are now. Our theme for the nursery as of now is farm animals. I think cows and ducks and pigs are so cute. And since we haven't 100% decided whether or not to find out the sex of the baby, I'm planning for neutral. Decorating a nursery is so much fun, it's just been so long since I've thought of a room in a child-like way. I'll be sure to post pictures as it progresses.

it's over

2006-01-30T10:13:00.000-05:00

We're moved in.
I finally have my connection to the world back.
I'm sure I'll write a long post later on about how hard life can be without the internet.
But, for now, I'm just going to try to figure out what needs to be done first....

popped overnight

2006-01-13T12:12:00.000-05:00

I woke up the this morning and looked in the mirror. I think my belly popped out overnight. I've noticed things are a little fuller in places they weren't before, but today, I think my stomach is ready to display the baby to the world. It's sort of a weird feeling, it's like you had a secret and now your body is snitching on you. It becomes everyone else's business. I've been with friends and family while they're pregnant and in public. Strangers touching their belly, asking questions that are none of their business.

I think it's time to go shopping for hide-your-belly-a-little-bit-longer clothes.

busy bee

2006-01-10T10:34:00.000-05:00

Life has been busy with lots going on, more than usual at least.

Pregnancy: Feeling better nausea-wise. Thank goodness. It's like not knowing how bad you felt until you started to get better. I had a sonogram last week and was able to see arms and legs, it's just absolutely amazing how fast they grow. Hubby and I decided we probably wont' find out what the sex of the baby is. I want to know, he doesn't. But, I don't want to convince him because I would hate for him to be disappointed at the birth and wish he hadn't known and waited for the surpirse. I think it will make it all that more exciting. Oh, by the way, I cried at a Friends episode the other day!?? I know. It was the one where Ross and Emily decide to get married and they come in and announce it to everyone and Rachel comes out of the room behind him and the look on her face just did me in. I felt like such a sap.

Moving: Three weeks. Ouch, that was hard to type. Denial is still very prominent in my head about this. Not sure why. My mom is coming over Thursday to help get the house ready to move. Maybe I just need a little push. My worry is that I've given no true thought to life without my parents 10 minutes away and my best friend next door. I think I'm trying to enjoy it all why it's still there, but could be in for some rough times when reality sets in 100 miles away. We found a cute house, it will do for at least a few years.

Stationery: Excitement. I've finally got that energy for it again. I've signed the contract for NSS, I'm all in. I'm going to figure it out and get it done. Life is too short to sit back on the sidelines. My parents and husband are all willing to help, let's just hope they're all ready to learn how to print! I'm going to try to do all the printing in-house. The cost of outsourcing is just too much starting out. Trying to keep everything simple and not make things more complicated than they need to be.

As I'm planning for everything that is going on and changing, I can't help but realize how truly blessed I have been in all the areas that keep my head filled with worry. It's been a great lesson of learning not to worry, it's all going to work out the way it should.

been thinkin'

2005-12-29T12:18:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot. Work. The baby. Stationery. Schedules. Timelines. Goals. You know, all the stuff that comes up when you're pregnant, starting a company and moving all at the same time. Everything is changing, which I'm looking forward to. I'm being very cautious to not just let things fall into place like I have in the past. I want to think about what is going to be the best decision for me in the long run and what will be best for my happiness and my family.

The stationery show. I had myself thinking there was no way I could get it all done. With the way I was feeling - exhausted, constantly connected to the toilet. I didn't see how it was possible. But, now I'm beginning to wonder. I can feel the nausea getting somewhat better, which is SO exciting. I'm seeing a bit of normalcy in my future.

I really do want to make it to NY in May. My one issue that is holding me back is printing. I can get the designs done and the booth built and forms organized. But, all my products are letterpressed. It's time consuming, labor intensive and I can't see how my big belly will fit in front of that press just to get the plate in the right place. Physically, I think I'll hit a roadblock. So, is there a problem with outsourcing the printing? Or, could some products be letterpressed and some be flat printed? There have to be other options.

So, I'll continue to think and ponder about the possibilities. Luckily, I have Paperpreneurs to keep me constantly inspired.

around the corner...

2005-12-20T11:12:00.000-05:00

I'm trying the motion sickness wristbands today. We'll see how they work.

In other news, my husband's company has offered to buy our house, so we can move! Yipee! We are planning to close on our house in the middle of next month. We are going to look at houses in Lexington today, and I'm just hoping we find a perfect one. Our realtor thinks we can get a better deal before Christmas. But, it sounds like some quick decision making, we'll see.

I will be happy when we finally get moved. I can work on the nursery, which I'm dying to do! I can't wait. It will be great to be settled and focus on other things. I'll be working for the same company, but working from home. That saves about two hours a day that is usually spent driving to and from work.

I'm excited for Christmas, but obviously, my mind has been a little preoccupied. I'm looking forward to time with family and just relaxation for a few days. My husband is off for six days, it will be like normal again. Normal is exactly what I need.

the patient is in...

2005-12-14T09:56:00.000-05:00

Ok gals, let's hear it. Morning sickness, what worked for you and what didn't???? Crackers? water? Anything?

You mom expertise is greatly appreciated.

pregnant

2005-12-08T10:28:00.000-05:00

So, it's official. Due in August. Honestly, I haven't been able to put into words how I feel about it. It's such a weird change. I can say I'm very excited. But all those other feelings start to creep up, nervous, scared, fear of failure, you know, the usual stuff.

So, life is changing for me in so many directions. It's exciting, but scary at the same time. Do I do NSS? When will we move? It's funny, all of that stuff starts to not matter as much. How can you worry about anything else other than this amazing being that's growing and will be ready to arrive in nine months.

When I find more words, I'll share them. For now, just joy.

Creeping up on me...

2005-12-01T10:40:00.000-05:00

The National Stationery Show is five months away. I'm scared to death of getting everything done. Is it possible? Am I totally kidding myself? Are there enough hours in the day? Will anyone even buy anything? Oh, if my worry is this bad at five months, I don't even want to be around myself as the show nears.

Ug.

first snow

2005-11-23T10:12:00.000-05:00

The first snow of the year. Rooftops are coated white, tiny flakes falling so gently. There's nothing better. Now all I need is a cup of cocoa, a blanket and a good book.

We'll be traveling to Chicago for Thanksgiving. I'm looking forward to it. We'll be driving up with my parents and both dogs! Should be interesting. They usually don't go in the car longer than a half hour or so. So, we'll see how they do for six hours. I'm seeing constant stopping and cleaning up from car sickness in my future.

Happy Turkey Day to you all! What a wonderful day to be thankful for all that we have!

long winter's nap

2005-11-21T13:45:00.000-05:00

My blog has been taking a slightly long winter's nap. I apologize for the delay in posts. I'm not even sure what I've been doing, but I feel like I've been busy. So, let's get to it.

Business: Great! I'm selling some holiday cards locally and hope they all do well! Hubby got the motor working on the press, not that my thighs couldn't use the exercise, but it was very physically demanding. I'm trying to get everyone's Christmas cards done, so I have time to do my own. We'll see how that works out.

Home: No bites on the house, not even a little sniff. I'm done worrying about it for now. I left the house a mess today...and if felt good. We spent Thur-Sat with hubby's family at a cabin to celebrate Thanksgiving. We do his family the weekend before at a cabin each year, then we will be with my fam in Chicago this upcoming weekend...which means PAPER SOURCE - oh yeah!

Must get back to work..I'm behind!

TGIHT

2005-11-11T15:24:00.000-05:00

Thank God It's Hubby Time

It's Friday and that means I can't wait for my husband to come home. I sure hope this doesn't go on for too much longer. We've had one couple look at our house. I don't there could be a worse time to have your house on the market. But, no worries, just patiently waiting....and waiting....

Husband and I are planing to take in a movie and work on that goal that was mentioned many posts ago. Should all be fun times. I spent my past two evenings printing my butt off. I had some new designs I wanted to submit to the paper here that requested cards from local artists. Hopefully I'll make the cut and get some sales at one of the local stationery stores here in town. Fingers crossed.

For all that are interested, there will be a Gilmore Girls Marathon on this weekend on ABC Family. It starts Sunday at Noon. Which brings me to my photo today. I saw this photo and had to post it. These are three of my favorites. Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls)-so witty, Matthew Perry (my favorite Friend)-hilarious, Reba McEntire (Country Singer)-there are no words.

Happy weekend to all!

won't you take me to...

2005-11-08T08:40:00.000-05:00

I'm in a funk. I went to bed at 9:30 last night. Not because I didn't feel like doing anything else, or I had to get up early, but I was exhausted. There was no reason for the exhaustion, just a normal day. Actually, a really good day, I'll get to why in a moment. This morning, I'm hoping my white mocha from Starbucks will perk me up a bit. Funks are no fun. It's like an unexplainable mood that makes me feel out of place somehow.

Anyhoo, as for the good day. It was about 2pm yesterday and my best friend Jess called. Jess rarely calls me at work, so I knew it had to be big, she said "You're never gonna believe it, guess what?" I said, "you're pregnant?", she said "hell no, they started playing Christmas music on the radio!!!!". I was right, the news was big. It made my day. You can't start Christmas music too early, and for those that say you have to wait til after Thanksgiving....ba humbug. Luckily, the local radio station broadcasts online, for all to enjoy. I promise, it will make you smile! There's no way my funk will last after a little Bing Crosby.

stupid stupid stupid

2005-11-03T15:25:00.000-05:00

You know that feeling you get when you hate yourself for doing something so, so, so, so, stupid? How could I have been so stupid. It's one of those things that if I told my husband or mother, they would look at me like I made a horrible decision. It's a little too fresh at the moment to share, and I'm probably overreacting, but I am so mad at myself.

2005-10-31T14:41:00.000-05:00

I was tagged by Gilley, so here goes...

20 things you don't already know about me:

1. I chose to be a graphic designer after reading the back of a Cheerios box.

2. I'm a little obsessive about celebrity gossip. (At least heels is right there with me)

3. Starting a business and everything that goes along with it...is the scariest things I've ever done.

4. Starting a business and everything that goes along with it...is the most exciting thing I've ever done.

5. I procrastinate to avoid failure.

6. I can't wait to be a mother. Soon.

7. Like I read in someone else's tag confessions, I too kiss my dogs in a way I'm not proud of. (that doesn't sound right...I don't mean that in a weird way, just a it-can-really-gross-some-people-out-kind-of-way)

8. My favorite time of day is right before the sun is about to go down.

9. I worry that I'm a hypocrite at times without realizing it.

10. I come off as a non-girly-girl, who doesn't cry or show emotions easily, but really, just like my mother, a good Hallmark commercial can bring tears to my eyes.

11. Bad drivers and ignorant people really drive me crazy.

12. I care too little about my appearance, a day without a pony tail is monumental.

13. I've read every Nicholas Sparks book and usually have the new arrivals the day they come out.

14. Disney World is one of my favorite places on earth. The planning and thought that goes into everything from the carpet in their hotels to the Mickey Mouse shaped butter at restaurants astounds me. It's all about the details.

15. Life without cheese and bread is no life at all.

16. My husband is the funniest person I know. I know I will be laughing until the day he dies.

17. Someday, I'd love to own a dog shop that sells trendy collars, beds, clothing, stationery and of course home-baked doggie treats.

18. The hardest part of designing stationery is getting it to look like it does in my head.

19. I worry constantly that I'm not being a good enough friend. I feel so blessed with the friends that I have, and wonder if I'm as good a friend to them.

20. My mother and father are the greatest people in this world. I worry that I won't give my children as good of a childhood as I had growing up.

That was much harder than I expected. But what a great idea to get to know each other better. All of the people I planned to tagged have already been tagged....but I think Paper Lane is still tagless.

Happy Halloween!

2005-10-31T11:50:00.000-05:00

Saving the best for last!

p.s. I've been tagged...I'll post soon...

King Pug

2005-10-27T13:51:00.000-04:00

Busy, crazy, chaotic day. But, here is the dog costume photo for today. I'll be on the road tomorrow, so this will be the last photo for this week. I'll try to have one last one for Halloween Monday. Have a good weekend all.

p.s. do you remember in elementary school when you never got asked to play "tag"...yeah, that's alright, don't worry about me...I didn't want to play anyway...ho hum.

out to kill me

2005-10-26T12:21:00.000-04:00

Either my car knows I'm going to sell her, or someone is out to kill me. On my way to work today, some lady almost side-swiped me on the interstate. Then I take my car in to get an estimate to fix yesterday's accident and as I'm sitting there waiting (outside of the car), some worker at the garage runs another car right into mine!!!!! Uhhhhhhhgggggg.

So, today's dog costume photo is very "transportation" oriented.

Howl-oween Week

2005-10-25T13:38:00.000-04:00

I've decided to brighten my day with this photo. It is the cutest thing I have ever seen! He looks just like my little one. But, if I had put Sam in that costume, he would be giving me the look of death!

I hope to bring you Cute Dogs in Costumes all this week!

brakes are for stopping

2005-10-25T09:49:00.000-04:00

I was up bright and early, and on time. I was right on schedule, which doesn't always happen with me in the morning. That was until I hit the car in front of me. I was paying attention, I wasn't speeding, I hit the brakes and nothing happened, I just slid right across the road. It was in slow motion and I just sat there and watched it happen. My foot was on the brake, other than that, I was out of options. The kicker is that I am selling my car to a woman I work with. Now the car has to be fixed ASAP, and a bunch of money goes right down the drain. Today is not turning out to be a good day.

p.s. my office is freeeeeeezing!

brrrrr

2005-10-21T12:45:00.000-04:00

It's the first real chilly day here in Cincy. The heat is running in the office, but I'm still wishing I was snuggled under a blanket by the fire....with my hubby who comes home today!!!! Yippee!

I received a few print orders from a retailer I recently started working with. I'm a little nervous. She wants to come and do a press check before I print them all. That is never good. Especially since my press is at my house and all. I print late at night, so maybe she'll decide against it. It's big money though. It will be my highest paying job thus far. Just add it to the NSS pot.

On the other side of things. I'm very good at denial. My friend Jess and I can go days and days without mentioning the impending move. We're great at not dealing things, it's easier just to ignore. So, I'm going to oust myself, to myself, in hopes that I'll make some sort of change. So here goes: I'm very unmotivated. This week was completely unproductive, in some aspects. I only did what had to be done. I didn't do laundry, vacuum (not that anyone looked at house anyway), organize stuff that needs to be organized, fill out house paperwork....nothing. I hate this side of me that lets myself just be lazy. I don't think of myself as a lazy person, but I am severly lacking motivation. Maybe it's a rut or a funk, but maybe since I've admitted it, I'll change it. If only I had the motivation to do so.

earplugs

2005-10-20T11:02:00.000-04:00

They are working on the gas line right outside of our office. Kill me now. I can only turn Ashlee Simpson up so loud. (Yeah, that's right, I'm not afraid to admit it)

things change

2005-10-19T13:12:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I was in to Halloween, but then I got my new Pottery Barn catalog in the mail yesterday and now...yep, I'm into Christmas. October through December, the best months EVER! I'll be posting my Christmas list soon. There are going to be some must-have items. I only have the first two seasons of Gilmore Girls on DVD...hello! That's a problem.

Speaking of Christmas, am I a bad person? (This is one of those questions that if you have to even ask, it probably means yes) But anyway, is it bad of me to not be too concerned about the house not selling. Yes, I know, my husband lives in a hotel room that he calls a jail cell five days a week. But, I really want to decorate my house for Christmas. I know if we move before then, the last thing on the list will be making sure the tree and all the necessary stockings are up. I think we'll be more concerned with sheets, toothpaste and bowls. I know, I'm a horrible wife.

it's official

2005-10-18T09:55:00.000-04:00

I am officially signed up for the National Stationery Show in New York. I have 7 months to be ready. I will be ready. It was the purpose of registering now, to make me be ready. With the hubby being gone during the week, I'm going to have to learn how to be creative in the evenings. It's my least creative time, but that is going to have to change. Also, being on the computer all day at my "real job", the last thing I want to look at is a computer. Tough cookies, I suppose. I'm going to have to suck it up. In college we were forced to design on paper first. I never liked it. I'm too much of a perfectionst. I like going straight to Illustrator and see the colors how they are in my head and having a perfect circle to work with. Maybe going back to sketching the old-fashioned way wouldn't be such a bad idea. I love how this blog can get things all worked out as I type.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, as always. We're planning to carve pumpkins on Sunday. Carving pumpkins is a family tradition. I've done it every year since I was big enough to carve. Every year my parents, their good friends Dick and Karen and I would gather for our annual carving party. We came prepared with patterns and sketches of how we wanted them to look. My mother doesn't get into the carving too much. She usually sticks to triangles and then moves on to the more important things. She bakes cookies. As we carve she bakes the most fabulous ginger cookies. We then ice them with orange icing and decorate with chocolate chips, making pumpkin faces on each one. They are delicious. Once the carving is complete, we take a group photo with our pumpkins. Each person making the same face as their pumpkin. Believe me, some years this has been difficult. Back when I was small a cat carved into a pumpkin was easy to replicate. But, one year I covered my pumpkin with carved out stars. It was beautiful, but not something my face can capture too well. This year I was thinking of doing my company logo, to have photos of for the web site next year. I should start practicing in the mirror now.

And yes hubby, you're going to carve too. (He's still working on accepting some of my family's interesting traditions)

Pumpkin Carving Ideas:
Cookie Cutter Pumpkins-from Martha of course

starting to feel it

2005-10-14T09:23:00.000-04:00

I had been doing fairly well, up til now. As mentioned in previous posts, my husband and I are used to distances. He just finished his third week of being away. I just want it all to be over with. No one has looked at the house yet. Our realtor said it's like that everywhere, not just our house.

There's something that happens when you start having somewhat of a separate life from your spouse. He's not here for the daily happenings and he becomes part of the big picture instead of the details. I miss seeing him every night. I miss having him close by, just in case. I don't want distance to become normal for us again. It feels too disconnected, and I hate that feeling. There's a plan, I know that, it's why I don't worry about selling the house because it will happen at the right time. (Even though I'm secretly hoping it happens after Christmas) It's all going to work out, I know that. But in the meantime, not being connected really stinks.

Enough pitty party. He comes home tonight, so that's a plus. We are going to homecoming at Purdue this weekend. My alma mater. It's always great to hang out with my buds from college. It's ironic in a way, because my husband and I go every year, back to the place where I spent four years completely separate from him. It's nice that he can go now and understand that part of my life that he wasn't around for. It all works out.

i'm ready

2005-10-12T16:01:00.000-04:00

I'm ready for Christmas. Bring on the snow. Hmmm. Snow.

life outside of Stars Hollow

2005-10-10T15:15:00.000-04:00

Gilmore Girls is on the top of my list, but here are a few others that I love to watch:

Grey's Anatomy: One of the best shows on TV, must watch.

Prison Break: Great concept, different from the average show.

Joey: I gave it another chance this season and I actually laughed.

Laguna Beach: My guilty pleasure, great entertainment, but it's such trash.

Martha: Apprentice: I love the tasks: wedding cakes, flowers, but the cast isn't great

Gilmore Gilrs: duh.

ER: Still a good show.

When your husband lives in another state five days a week, you have to fill your down time with something.

my house never looked so clean

2005-10-06T10:42:00.000-04:00

We've listed out house. I came home to a "for sale" sign in our yard yesterday. It didn't feel good. There are pictures of my house online...I feel like everyone in the world can see inside my personal space, that doens't feel good either. I guess I haven't gotten to the point where I'm okay with the fact that our house isn't going to be our house. Someone else is going to move in and live in it...I'm just not there yet.

Anyway, last weekend we looked a few houses in Lexington, we'll be looking at a ton this Saturday with our realtor. Not seeing my husband on a daily basis is getting a bit lonely. If I didn't have my best friend next door to hang out with every night, I think I'd go insane. Luckily her husband isn't sick of me yet.

On a happy note, on Sunday, we're going to do something I LOVE to do. We're going to this great farm near our house to get pumpkins. I love fall, I love pumpkins and everything in between. They have a hay ride to the pumpkin patch, cider doughnuts, homemade jams....mmmm, I can't wait. It's the best time of year. Hopefully the changing leaves and crisp air will still bring a smile to my face, neglecting the fact that everything is changing.

it takes a lot

2005-09-30T10:50:00.000-04:00

I don't get stressed out easily. There has to be a heck of a lot going on in my head for me to say i'm "stressed out". Needless to say, we're at that point. Work, business, money, houses, distance, cleaning, changes...all of it has officially stressed me out. And when I say "out". I mean "out", as in done, as in to my limit, as in no more room for one more worry, responsibility or task to be entered into my little brain. There's only so many times I can try to listen to Michael Buble to keep me calm and collected.

I know everyone has stress, it's a fact of life. But today is one of those days where even the sound of someone's voice could send me over the edge. It's overwhelming today. I have a quote in my office that is my life's motto: "If at first you don't succeed, try taking a nap". Sleeping is my way of ignoring it all. My bed sounds wonderful right now.

upside down

2005-09-29T09:39:00.000-04:00

My world, that is. I know, I'm behind. But, let me try to make it up to you.

Two weeks ago, my husband and I were having dinner. Out of the blue, with a straight face he says, "how would you feel about moving to Lexington?" Huh? He didn't say "by the way, I've got some news" or "we need to talk". Not even "let's have a family meeting". Usually when that happens, he makes me and the two dogs sit on the couch and concentrate really hard on anything important he may have to share - it's humorous. But no, just out of the blue he changed our lives with a simple sentence.

He interviewed that next Monday and Tuesday, on Wednesday he had an offer and that was it. We're moving to Lexington, KY. Now I'm sure future posts will elaborate on the irony, weirdness and difficulties of me moving to Lexington, or should I say back to Lexington. My family and I lived in Lexington for 8 years before we moved to Cincinnati. I've been in Cincinnati for almost 12 years now. Cincinnati is home, although 12 years ago, I would have never expected to feel that way. It's where my friends are, my family, my husband's family, it's everything. Lexington was growing up. Junior high-enough said. I associate Lexington with that awkward time in my life. But, I also associate it with being a kid and playing in the puddles on my street after an afternoon rain. Certain places are sure to trigger old memories, I'm just hoping we can create a life independent and new of those memories.

Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more proud of my husband. He's been promoted and it's an amazing honor to have been hand-picked for this new position that came almost a year sooner than he expected. That's way saying no to moving wasn't even an option. He deserves it and he'll be fantastic at the new job.

So, needless to say, this last week has been a whirlwind. I'm finally over the shock of it all. My friend Jess and I had our cry, and we've decided we'll just make it work. It won't be the same as our 10 second walk across the yard for comfort, relaxation, or a cup of sugar, but we'll figure out a way. My parents will be down often and I'm sure it will feel like we're still 20 minutes apart. It's all going to be an adjustment and I'm finally in a place where I can start making decisions to move forward. The first few days I was immobile. I didn't want to do anything that would push this move any faster than I was ready for.

My husband is already working in Lexington Monday-Friday, and home on the weekends. I'm looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. Believe it or not, that's not the hard part. We're used to distances. The Ohio River is no comparison to the ocean that used to be between us when he was stationed in Japan. We're pros. I'm meeting with a realtor this evening about selling the house. I'm dreading the day that I pull up into my driveway and see a "for sale" sign in the yard.

Life is full of changes and they always come when you least expect it. There's a plan for all of this. It's hard to see all the positives at this point, but I know I'll look back on it years from now and realize I was silly to worry so much.

baby Carter

2005-09-21T12:23:00.000-04:00

She delivered around 4pm yesterday, I was there by 4:30pm to meet the little guy, he's beautiful. I'll post pictures tomororw probably. Since the only baby pictures I have are of my puppies, I'll show off the next best thing.

blubbering baby

2005-09-20T14:38:00.000-04:00

My best friend went into labor this morning. The phone rang at about 5:30am and I jumped out bed with excitement. She also happens to live next door. According to plan, we took their first son in hopes that he could continue sleeping. Nope. He was wide awake. We watched cartoons for a few hours before his Grandpa picked him up to take him down to the hospital.

I'm not sure how much detail I've given in the past on the subject of my friend who is probably currently pushing a watermelon out of hose, but today feels appropriate to do so. I went to visit her over lunch, the hospital is just down the street. She was so nice to have it during the day like I requested, so it would be close to work. As I came in and gave her a big hug and kiss, it hit me at how absolutely excited I am and emotional I am over this baby. We have nieces and nephews and I saw them all the day they were born, but it was nothing like this. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the stuff I can't spill my guts about yet, but I can tell you it involves me and my friend not living next door to each other. Or even in the same city for that matter. It's just a possibility at this point.

Back to the point, I grew up always being friends with boys. They weren't girly and prissy and annoying, they were perfect for me. I'm not a tomboy by any means, but I'm just not frilly and overly-girly. So, girlfriends that "fit" perfectly have been hard to come by, but guy friends abundant. I've had ones throughout the years, some ended in falling-outs, for others, geographical location prohibits a strong bond. So, after college I really prayed for someone to come into my life that would "fit". And she did. Not only did she come into my life, she was right under my nose and right next door. She's perfect. Her wet hair goes up into a ponytail by 9am just like me, bread + cheese + potatos = a perfect meal for us both, Laguna Beach is our Monday indulgence and we both have an undeniable love for Target.

When I was watching her lay there, feeling the goodness of an epidural, and just giving her a smile that meant everything, it hit me. I've become a blubbering girly girl about this friendship that was greatly needed, but found in the most unexpected place. She means the world to me and I'm counting the hours to 4pm when I can meet the little guy that has been tagging along with us for all these months.

Fall

2005-09-19T10:49:00.000-04:00

Fall is my favorite time of the year. I love everything about it. The leaves, the crisp air, anything with apples, pumpkins, the smell of spice in the air. Oh, and sweaters. I love sweaters.

There is lots going on. A lot of stuff that is in the process of possibly happening, so I'll wait to spill my guts until I know for sure. A local stationery store is looking for a new letterpress printer. I've done some samples for her and will be dropping them off today, hopefully some work will come from it.

We had a nice weekend. Went to a football game, hung out with friends, nothing too demanding. Just the way I like a weekend to be. I'm hoping to get lots accomplished around the house this weekend, it's a mess and all over the place. I cleaned our closet out two weekends ago. I've realized that my husband now has no clothes because I donated about 70% of them. If I haven't seen him in it in the last year, it was out. And, I followed the same rules for myself. Lots more space for new clothes!

It's Monday and I'm really dragging, I've yet to have coffee - that must be it.

2005-09-13T15:42:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah folks! Gilrmore Girls returns tonight! I can't wait. I'm only hoping our Tivo doesn't screw up, like it sometimes does, and tapes hubby's VH1 Storytellers-Dave Matthews, instead of my precious Gilmore Girls. It's set to tape both, and by golly, it better.

I really should just plan to not leave the house on Tuesday evenings....nah, I'm not that crazy.

My husband almost slapped me

2005-09-12T13:54:00.000-04:00

Sickness: Day 15. That's right folks, still no doctor. Luckily, it's on it's way out. I always get the "you thought it was over but it's not because I'm going to linger for at least a week Cough" I always get a cough last. After the yucky stuff, runny nose, headaches, stomach issues, and all the other great stuff of being sick, I get a cough. I've had it for a couple days, so I'm guessing tomorrow will be the end of it and I can begin to carry on with my life. I was coughing up a storm in bed last night. At least once an hour I'd sit up straight in bed and feel like my lungs were collapsing. The hubby may suggest that he sleep on the couch this evening.

I promise I'll have more interesting things to discuss soon. I'm just freakin' behind on everything!

Paperpreneurs???? Where have you gone????

2005-09-07T13:04:00.000-04:00

Has anyone gone to the site today. Am I going crazy or is something seriously wrong with the site????? I see a photo of a guy with a flag, singing about something in gibberish!!!! Please tell me I'm not going crazy.

UPDATE: I checked with one of the admins of the site, she took down the site to get it figured out, very odd, so it will be down for a while. I know, a day without checking Paperpreneurs will be difficult for some. This too shall pass.

I only did it once in college

2005-09-06T13:40:00.000-04:00

In college, I visited the clinic only once. I had strep throat. Four years of college and only sick once.

In the past two years, I've been sick at least 8-10 times. I'm done with it. I don't know why sinus infections like my body so much, or that my throat likes to torture my every swallow. I keep getting sick! I'm not going into details because I hate it when people blabber on about all of their different ailments. If you're 80, fine, what else do you have to talk about. Doctor's appointments are a highlight of your day. But otherwise, I really don't need to know.

Being sick makes me feel lazy, guilty that I'm not doing more, and wimpy. If I stay at work, I feel guilty that I might get someone else sick. If I stay home and lay on the couch like my mother tells me, I get the urge to do laundry. I'm home, it's extra time to get it done. I'm in complete denial for the first 2-3 days of any sickness. I pretend it's not there. It's when I get sooooo frustrated that I can't breathe at night and the only way my throat doesn't hurt everytime I swallow is if I have constant fluids going down it that I finally go to the doctor.

I really don't want to see my doctor's face again. I'm in the denial period, day 6. I'm staying strong. Co-workers, just don't stand too close.

crazy times

2005-08-30T13:58:00.000-04:00

Seems like craziness is happening all over. Today it's pouring down rain. Our grass needs it, so I'm not complaining. Yesterday one of my computers here at work died. Fortunately I was able to get the info off of it and I've ordered a new one. But, I spent all day on the stupid thing yesterday trying to get it figured out. When you have to change computers or get a new one, it's always stressful getting used to a new system.

I had a great time in Cleveland with my college girlfriends. It's nice to get away and go back to the way things used to be. We spent most of our time sitting around in our pajamas talking and eating chocolate chip cookies. It was great.

It's another busy week with places to go and things to prepare for. Someday I'm going to have to start saying no to others and yes to my business. There just isn't enough time for much right now and that needs to change. I know, I know, you've heard it before.

an intervention?

2005-08-25T10:11:00.000-04:00

My name is sarah and I'm addicted to Gilmore Girls. I tivo every episode. Every weekday on ABC Family at 5pm. I walk in the door, give the dogs some attention, I then sit down for some "me time". I turn on the most recent episode and I "decompress". The worries of of the day and the list of chores fade away. For 40 minutes I drift away into the town of Stars Hollow, CT and as Loralei shoots off a reference of a person I've never heard of, I smile.

It's a fabulous show. The writing is amazing. The town is a dream. I love it.

Set your tivos folks, you won't be sorry.

Success!

2005-08-24T15:00:00.000-04:00

Last night I was finally able to try out the new press on a real print job. I've been fooling around with it for weeks, buying new parts, adjusting. But, finally it worked fabulously. I printed Save the Dates for my Grandma's 80th birthday and we used some great petal envelopes from the Paper Source. They're fabulous. The paper was wonderful as well, I'll definitely use it again. I still have a bunch of samples to print, hopefully I'll get those done next week. Because..........

I'm going to Cleveland on Friday!!!!!!! To recap from previous posts, my husband was offered a work trip to the Bristol race in TN on the same weekend I had planned to see my girlfriends from college. It was a big deal, and other wives were going and I needed to go schmooze and smile. But, some other wives have backed out and it's turning into a boys weekend. Which means I'm off the hook. He finally realized I wouldn't have much fun. I know nothing about the race. So, girls weekend here I come.

sing me a new song

2005-08-23T12:16:00.000-04:00

I am so sick of every single song on my iTunes playlist. If I hear Chicago, Guster, Keith Urban or anyone else that has been playing over and over and over I think I'm going to scream. I can't stand it. It's almost like I'm not "hearing" the music anymore. I don't even know what song I'm listening to because my brain is so familiar with all of it. Am I making sense?

Any suggestions? I'll listen to almost anything. I'm in the mood for a good soundtrack or easy listening, something fun, yet calming.

updates:

life: crazy, out of town last weekend, out of town this weekend, out of town the following weekend. All of this means my house will be a disaster for another two weeks. Saturday is catch-up day, laundry day, cleaning day. And I'm not going to see one until the middle of September.

business: it's going. I'm printing this evening. I'm moving a little slower than I'd like to be. I'm reallllly thinking about cutting back at the "real job" and putting more time into it. Still thinking.

Please folks, suggest some good music.

The Official Interview

2005-08-22T09:37:00.000-04:00

1. There are three other people at your dinner table. Who are they and why are they there?

Oprah-I could learn a lot over the course of a meal
Britney Spears-sooooo many questions
Reba McEntire-she does it all

2. Who's on your top ten list?

My husband
My mother
My father
Jess-God aligned our lives at the perfect time, wonderful friend
Matty-best pug ever
Sam-cutest pug ever, they can both bring a smile to my face at any moment
Janet-college girlfriend
Melissa-college girlfriend
(I'm not going to try to think of someone else to add just for the sake of having 10, this is my top 8)

3. You get called into your meeting with the supreme being of your choice and he/she/it tells you that you get to make three world changing decisions today, no questions asked. What would you pick?

1. The end of terroism
2. The end of starvation everywhere
3. AIDS wiped clean from the earth

4. If you had to pick the same meal to eat every day for a year what would that meal consist of?

This is an easy one: mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls and milk with chocolate cake for dessert

5. When you meet a person (male or female) what is the first thing you notice about them?

Their smile, you can tell a lot from a smile. If their a genuine person or just trying to make you think they're happy.

Want to play?The Official Interview Game Rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below asking to be interviewed.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

decided

2005-08-15T10:33:00.000-04:00

Looks like I will be doing my wifely duty by attending the Bristol race. Telling my girlfriends I wasn't going to make it to our official "Girls Weekend 2005" was hard. Either way, someone was going to be disappointed, so I decided if the Bristol trip could help hubby's career, I can't mess that up. We will be planning another girls weekend soon. Life is full of disapointments, at least that's what my mother always told me.

The baby shower I had for one of my best friends went well. My mom made a baby carriage out of a watermelon and filled it with fruit, it was adorable. Most of all my friend had a great time. I had all her favorite foods and she received some much needed gifts. My husband and I painted her nursery on Sunday since the fumes aren't good for her. A lovely pale green. I can't wait for that. Her husband is away for a bachelor party...I'm really not sure how that worked out. But, the baby is probably coming sooner than expected and the fact that her nursery was making no progress, was making me incredibly nervous.

We leave Wednesday for a long weekend at a cabin in Michigan. I'm looking forward to it. Just the hubby and me, it will be our first trip alone since our honeymoon. We plan to rest, drink coffee, and do nothing that takes too much effort. Bliss.

bummer

2005-08-10T14:54:00.000-04:00

Long story short. My husband just received tickets and trip to the Bristol Race (evidentally a really big deal) from his company. It's with other big wigs and their wives. He's hoping to get a promotion soon. It's the same weekend that my college girlfriends and I are supposed to get together in Cleveland, that we've had planned for months. My husband says he can't take anyone else and it's one of those important business things we need to go to. Not to mention the pit passes, meeting drivers, blah blah blah. One of my girlfriends already has her flight.

What on earth do I do?

it's live

2005-08-10T14:20:00.000-04:00

The site is live folks. Yipee.

chat

2005-08-09T14:41:00.000-04:00

I've been all over the place lately. Therefore, so will my post.

headache-Today is my first headache-free day since last Monday. I got a new perscription from the doc for the next time one hits. I can't wait.

business-I about had a heart attack today. I was doing some searching today and found a retailer with a similar name and an even more similar logo to mine. I literally stopped breathing as I stared at it in awe. But, I'm not going to worry about it, they don't sell the same product or to the same customers as I do. It was just a little weird.

press- the parts I'm waiting on haven't arrived yet. Hopefully today. I need to print the last of my contents for my mailer I'm doing. This really is the most irritating part of the business, so unpredictible and always learning.

website- so excited, it's almost done. I want to take one more photo to change out and it should be set. The anticipation and fear is overwhelming, but I'm moving forward.

life- I'm throwing a baby shower for one of my best girlfriends on Saturday. I love throwing baby showers. The food, decor, colors, games, all lots of fun. And cute girafe invitations.

Random enough? Back to work.

migraines

2005-08-06T09:15:00.000-04:00

After having a headache since Monday, I finally went to the doctor yesterday. What I thought was just turning into another sinus infection, turned out to be a migraine headache. After thinking back and going over all my other "sinus infections", I've had migraines for a long time, just didn't know it. My doctor just kept saying "yep, textbook migraines", I felt stupid somehow.

Unfortunately, the day got worse. My doctor gave me some samples to try, but said it may not help because the migraine was too far gone (four days). I decided to try it and within an hour I was crying on the phone to my husband because I was dizzy and felt like my throat was wrapped in rubber bands. He rushed home, what a good fella I have. I think I was just scared. After calling the pharmacy, I realized I had the side effects in the "rare" category - not good.

So, I still have the headache. I will be trying some of the over the counter options today, now that I know what it is.

it could happen to you

2005-08-03T09:57:00.000-04:00

Like you may have noticed in previous posts. When bad things happen in my life, they like to happen all in one day. I woke up once again to a headache that I've had since Monday. Which is odd for me. It goes away when I lay down, so sleeping is fine, but by 8am, it's back. My husband is insisting I call the dr. today...so, maybe I will.

After I arrived to work, I checked my bank accont to write some bills...but SOMEONE ELSE had already spent my money! Yep, that's right. Someone has been charging things to my check card. It's not stollen and I haven't bought anything online wiht it since Christmas. I called the bank and got it stopped, she said it's probably someone just juggling numbers until they get a card that works. Can you believe that???? The time people have. And the nerve.

In addition, we have a visitation to attend this evening. The mom of a friend of ours passed away suddenly. They were at Kings Island. He and his girlfriend went on a ride while his mom waited for them. When they returned, she had had a heart attack and died.

I'll be calling my mother and father today to tell them I love them. That's the third instance of sudden death of someone under the age of 60 I've known in the past two months. Life is short and precious. Which luckily makes my card fraud and headache seem like a walk in the park.

getting close

2005-08-02T15:39:00.000-04:00

My "printing mailer" is almost complete. The envelopes (way cool ones from paper source) are debossed with my logo, all the pieces for the inside (pricing, order forms, letter, etc.) are being proofed by "The red pen" (my father). The part I needed for the press to run better is being shipped today, and I'm hoping it gets here in time for another Saturday-of-printing-fun. My web site has been sent to friends and family for critique and hopefully they won't have too many bad things to say about it. It was my first attempt at doing it on my own, honestly, it looks pretty darn good. Things are coming together.

I must say, typing out all the accomplishments I've made in the last week feels good. I must do it more often.

road blocks

2005-08-01T10:09:00.000-04:00

I had high hopes of printing all day on Saturday. To make a long story short, letterpress is a constant learning experience. I expect that. I'm learning something new every time I print. It's the setbacks that make me feel like I'm never going to get this business and letterpress stuff figured out. Discouraging is the word.

I'm feeling discouraged about a lot of things. I have such high hopes and big plans, but sometimes circumstances beyond my control keep pushing me further from my goals. "Beyond my control" is a tricky statement I suppose. If I move forward 100%, there is the fear of the unknown and the lack of security. My level-headed mind can't seem to grasp the big leap it will require. Maybe I'm more in control than I think, it's just me running scared at the possibility of failure.

should be easier

2005-07-29T09:44:00.000-04:00

Sunday is one of my best girlfriend's birthday. I can't think of anything to get her. She is also my neighbor, we see eachother constantly. We shop together, work out together, watch tv together. This should be an easy one. But, I can't think of anything. To add to it, she's pregnant. I'd love to buy her a cute top or some sort of clothes, but that wouldn't seem to fair, she couldn't wear it for another three months. I know there are a ton of things she needs for the baby, but that's not for her, it's for the baby.

I want to come up with something fantastic, but I come up empty. High expectations, get you everytime.

Any suggestions?

mother knows best

2005-07-27T12:43:00.000-04:00

A call to mom was in order. I knew sitting at my desk eating the PB&J that I made for lunch would only give me more time to fume. So, I called mom, I met her downtown for lunch. She bought me some new underwear, and at least at this moment, all is good with the world. If only I didn't have to answer the phone or check my e-mail for the rest of the day.

and the hits just keep on coming

2005-07-27T11:08:00.000-04:00

Today is going to be a doozie. When it rains, it pours.

fuming mad

2005-07-27T08:47:00.000-04:00

Very rarely do I get angry. I'm a very calm, laid back person. This morning is an exception to this rule. There are some people who seem to live in some sort of bubble where they think all the rules of life don't apply to them. Being courteous, respectful and down right normal to communicate with is not in their vocabulary.

I just typed out the whole story to share. But, then I realized, I need to watch what I type. My anger is enough to fill this post, without the details. Hopefully I will have something more pleasant to share later. [steam is exiting my head]

3 days

2005-07-22T13:18:00.000-04:00

Three days can seem like a lifetime when you're away from someone you love. Yesterday, as I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my husband, I was thinking of how it used to be.

My husband and I met in high school when we were 15. After high school, he decided to join the Marines and I decided to go to college. We knew if we made it through four years of being away, we could make it through anything. We spent months apart, days without contact and many lonely nights wishing things could be different. The shortest time we went without seeing each other was probably a couple of months. The longest...a year. Even thinking back on that, it seems impossible. I have no clue how we did it. I remember at the time how hard it felt. It was frustrating, tiring, difficult, but worth it all at the same time. I think that time in our lives taught both of us to never question and never take for granted. We knew we had made it through for a reason and we have to value every moment, even if we see each other every single day.

rough morning

2005-07-21T12:04:00.000-04:00

My life goes to the crapper when my husband is out of town. I have some sort of spider bite, Sam (the pug) has an infection in the wrinkles of his face and had to go to the vet this morning, and I locked myself out of my house. When I get to work I have 15 new e-mails, just from the time I checked them from home this morning, to the time I get to the office, and the phone won't stop ringing. Uggg. It can only get better, right?

A Dog gone good idea

2005-07-20T12:38:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine called today and told me about MyPetCams.com. You hook up a camera to your computer and point it to where your pets are kept during the day, and you can watch them all day long! And the best part...it's free! He gave me the log in for his dog and I've been watching Wilbur the shar-pei sleep and bark all morning, it's fantastic.

I instantly thought I needed to get set up immediately. But, I will stalk them and worry about every move my two pug babies make. I can't scream through my monitor "Stop humping your brother!". I can see me dropping everything and running home at any sign of misbehavior. There are going to have to be limits.

sketching 101

2005-07-19T15:34:00.000-04:00

My husband is out of town on business and tonight is all mine. I plan to finish up organizing the office after a quick trip to Staples. Then, it's time to sketch. I worked on baby announcements and shower invites today for my best girlfriend and for my collection. They turned out adorable, just how I saw them in my head - sometimes that's not the case. Sometimes, I just can't get what is in in my head to the computer. But anyway, after the office I'm going to sketch everything I can possible think of that I want to use in my collection.

In college, sketching was required, they wanted to see how you got to the final design. But now, I just see it in my head and drop it into the computer. I want to re-learn how to draw and visualize and illustrate the old fashioned way. I think it will help get some ideas flushed out to make room for new ones and get rid of the bad.

Pasta Roni + ice cream + Gilmore Girls reruns + sketching = good time.

catch up monday

2005-07-18T12:01:00.000-04:00

Here are the going-ons, didn't feel too decisive on a topic today.

Press/Biz: Looking good. My "letterpress mentor" came over on Sunday to see my new beast for the first time. He says it's a good looking press, gave me some suggestions and a few adjustments and I'm set to go. Like getting to know any press, it takes some time to figure out how to get things moving to the best of its ability. I'm planning to order my plates this week for sample invitations and print on Saturday, and printing packets should go out in the next week and a half. I finally decided on my "stock colors". It's hard picking the top 20 colors that you'll print with for eternity, or at least until I decide to change them.

I'm working on getting the office cleaned and functional. It is being morphed from personal to business. That way my mom can come work in the office and actually be productive. Right now everything is all over the place and trying to get someone else to understand my system isn't going to happen.

Home: Babies on the brain, I just can not wait. My best girl friend is due in a couple months and I have a feeling this will put "can't wait" into "must do now". Patience, patience.

The rest of it: Changes are happening. I can feel my brain working in the background without my knowledge. You know, there are ideas of ways that things could be made better through changes that you might not be ready to make, so you just don't let yourself think about them? I know if I sat down and let myself analyze all the different possibilities of work, money, staying home, the business I would come up with something better, but I'm just not ready for it yet. I'm sure the right path will be shown to me at the right time, I'm just afraid the leap is coming sooner than I expect. Ooooo, I just realized that the message at church yesterday was "expect the unexpected". God always does that to me. He puts a bug in my ear and a month from now I'll look back and say "Ohhhh, I see". Ugg, I sure wish I could control the roller coaster sometimes.

Practice?

2005-07-13T15:54:00.000-04:00

Our puppy Sam (shown here in his too cute to resist stage) has become good practice for a real baby. He's six months old now and last night he would not stop whining. FOUR AM he was awake in the bed walking all over us like we were a playground. After about 20 minutes of that off he went to his crate. I think I fell asleep for a little while before I was awaken once again by his constant crying and blah blah blah blah blah. Sleep dog, that's what you do! Eat. Sleep. Poop. Sleep more.

Our other dog Matty is going to have to get better at her mothering skills. Or maybe it's me. (Here comes the "I'm going to be a bad mother" panic attack)

let it all out

2005-07-12T10:46:00.000-04:00

I've got to get it out! And one big reason, because I want feedback/advice from total strangers (that would be you). So, here it is.

We're going to have a baby. At least we hope so.

We are planning to start trying this fall. We would have started right away until I realized that nine months lands me right into May (stationery show). So, we decided on fall. Here is the issue. Am I crazy thinking that being six or seven months pregnant at the stationery show is going to be doable? It will be my first show, I won't even get started about the anxiety I have about being ready for it business-wise. But, the baby would arrive a couple months after the show, and that's only assuming we get pregnant on my schedule (which I know isn't likely).

So, there it is. It's out there. I can't contain or describe my excitement about becoming a mother. My husband and I have been together for 10 years this month and we both feel so ready to do this. We've realized that no time is perfect and there will never be large sums of money in our bank account. We're ready to dive in and we couldn't be happier.

I'm putting this out there for your advice. Consider it a privelege, you're the first to know, I can't tell people I know, how do you ask for advice from those who usually give it, when it's none of their business, yet? I didn't think a hypothetical would work.

it's monday

2005-07-11T14:56:00.000-04:00

I had a relaxing weekend. We didn't have too many obligations. Friday we went bowling with our neighbors. I hadn't been bowling in years and my score showed it. Saturday I worked out at the Y (power core on the ball class--ugg) followed by breakfast with my neighbor. (We've become attached at the hip, as you'll notice). After laundry, cleaning and perennial sale shopping with my mom, I came home to print. I'll post about that later. That evening my husband had a work thing to go to so my neighbor and I rented 13 Going on 30. What a great movie. The 80's references and the soundtrack make the movie.

Sunday we worked in the yard and then went to my parent's house for a belated 4th of July meal -burgers, deviled eggs, beans, potato salad and apple pie and homemade ice cream. It was good to hang out with them, it's been ages since we've been over with the pups. My dad could play with Sam and Matty (my pugs) for hours.

So, now it's Monday. Everyone is in a bad mood. I'm trying to stay away from everyone so it doesn't rub off on me. The power core on the ball class is tonight. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm starting to like working out. I feel better, have more energy and don't feel like a total slug. One could say I'm preparing for something....

Grease is the word

2005-07-06T15:31:00.000-04:00

The press is greased and ready to go. We oiled it like crazy and put a little bit of grease in the right places. Luckily, now I can run the press without feeling like I'm going to keel over with exhaustion. I'm planning to print this weekend, Saturday I would assume. Somewhere in between the evil Power Core on the Ball class and shopping the perennial sales with Mom. Who, by the way I feel like I haven't seen in ages. My parents have been busy and were out of town over the holiday, another reason why I can never live more than 30 minutes from my parents. If I actually think about it, I saw my mom 5 days ago, my dad maybe longer - and I'm already going through withdrawal.

I'm an only child. My parents were my everything growing up. I didn't have close cousins or other relatives in town. They know me better than anyone else in the world. My husband is getting there, but he's not there yet. My mom knows that sometimes I cry, just because I need to. My husband still thinks all crying equals something being seriously wrong. He's doing his best, and he'll get there. We've been together for almost 10 years this month, married almost 3. High school sweethearts, but still, compared to my parents, that's a lot of catching up to do.

I am still daddy's little girl. This marriage thing has been hard on both my Dad and I. For 22 years my dad did it all. He fixed, planned, organized, reassured, comforted, protected. It's hard to live up to and makes for high expectations. But, yesterday when my husband said "Don't worry, I'll get the oil and grease that you need. We'll get the press running", I realized you can never have too many people looking after you. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

I wish it would rain...

2005-07-05T12:11:00.000-04:00

Not only for my grass, but I'm in the mood for rain. I love a good summer rain. A thunderstorm is even better. You can't beat a good nap in the summer with it pouring outside.

The press is almost there. I attached the new part, got it going and realized it needs to be oiled...a lot. My husband says he knows what I need and is picking it up today for me. When it comes to oil and machinery, I don't know much. Once it is 100% healthy, I will be printing a test run to see how the press performs and then it's sample invitations out the wa-zoo.

My web site is coming along. The pages are all being refined and should be up soon...I hope. It's my first effort at doing a web page that people will actually see. So, once it's up, comments will be greatly appreciated.

I've got something to put out into the world, just to see how it feels. Planning big events in life, make me very nervous. Big decisions are life altering, they change everything. My husband and I have finally come to an agreement on said decision. There's a timeline. An endpoint that will eventually become the present. I only hope me and my life are ready.

anywhere but here

2005-06-30T12:58:00.000-04:00

No one is here. I'm at work and there is only one other person here. Two in Africa, one on vacation, one "working from home", one in Michigan. I'm about to pull my hair out. We have a very relaxed and casual atmosphere, but this is too much. I have the music turned up to keep me awake. I want to be anywhere but here. Sleeping, reading, watching Gilmore Girls, laundry, gardening, cleaning, anything but this. There are just some days where I can't stand to be where I have to be. Today is one of those days, and the lack of people is making it worse. Help!